hammer or compass

I just turned 22 seven weeks ago, and I'm already sick of everyone telling me this is my time to "find myself" and "explore my options."

What the hell does that even mean?

Every older person I talk to gives me the same script: "Don't settle down too early, try everything, keep your options open, travel while you can." And honestly? It's starting to feel like code for "stay confused and unproductive for as long as possible."

I look around at my friends and half of them are jumping from internship to internship, changing majors every semester, or taking gap years that turn into gap decades.

The other half are paralyzed by choice, scrolling through LinkedIn wondering what the fuck they're supposed to do with their lives.

Meanwhile, I'm watching the few people my age who are actually building something…starting businesses, learning real skills, creating content, working on projects they care about… and they seem way less anxious than the rest of us.

They're not constantly questioning their path because they're too busy walking it.

I'm starting to think the whole "finding yourself" thing is backwards. You don't find yourself by looking inward or traveling to Bali or trying seventeen different career paths.

You find yourself by picking something and getting good at it. By building something that matters to you and seeing what happens.

The problem is, building is freaking uncomfortable. Everything I try to create is objectively terrible at first. My writing sucks, my ideas are basic, my execution is clunky.

But I'm realizing that's not a bug, it's a feature. The discomfort is the point.

Deep down we all know that the people who can tolerate sucking at something long enough to get decent at it are the ones who end up with actual skills.

I'm also learning that choosing one thing doesn't mean you're stuck forever. But choosing nothing definitely means you're stuck right now.

Every day I spend "keeping my options open" is a day I'm not getting better at anything specific.

My brain keeps trying to convince me that there's some perfect path I haven't discovered yet, some ideal career or life direction that will feel effortless and natural.

But I'm starting to suspect that's just another way to avoid the reality that everything worthwhile requires effort and commitment.

So I'm experimenting with building instead of searching. Picking projects that scare me a little bit and sticking with them longer than feels comfortable.

Committing to learning skills even when they're hard and boring at first. Choosing direction over perfection.

I don't have it figured out. I'm not writing this from some position of wisdom or success. I'm writing this from the middle of the mess, trying to figure out how to use these years instead of just drifting through them.

What's one thing you're avoiding building because you're not sure if it's the "right" thing? Maybe that's exactly what you should start working on.

I'm 22 and I don't know shit about life yet. But I'm pretty sure waiting for clarity is just procrastination with better marketing.

Talk soon,

Dansel